My Life can't be this Surreal!
by Kyoko Ryuuzaki-Dragon Reborn
Summary: A chance meeting. A dropped phone. A poorly worded command. What were the odds it would turn out like this? One thing is for certain: When a sentient A.I. swears her loyalty to your for as long as you live, your world can no longer be normal. Welcome to the world of the surreal, Kyousuke Kosaka. Enjoy your stay...


My name is Kyousuke Kousaka. I'm 19 years old, and unremarkable in every way.

Or I wish I was.

Then again, was that really what I always wanted?

Or am I running away? In the end, it comes down to one thing.

I was scared. I let my fear overcome me when it really counted, and it cost me dearly. It wasn't obvious at the time, but it was a costly failure, even if it was something that I didn't realize.

"Kyousuke-sama...Once this happens, know that it can't be easily undone. Even now, after everything that's happened, you can still go back to the way things were. You can still make up with your father. You can go back to being your boring, average self."

Boring, average self. In the last several years, that's all I've been. 'That boring looking guy'. Sure, I've grown more dependable in the last couple years, but in the end, even that...was caused by Kirino.

Kirino. For years, we stayed in a proverbial "Cold War", never speaking to each other more than necessary. But then the seed of change was planted in the form of a dropped DVD case.

Suddenly, my life wasn't so simple. I was depended on, instead of depending on others. I went out of my way, I put myself on the line. I got slapped, kicked, punched, and degraded.

But at the same time...I made more friends. I was dependable. I became the guy who would help anyone...

All because of Kirino. That girl was indescribably important to me. She does something to me. I'm not sure why she's the only one who makes me break my own limits.

My own limits. Not limits set by anything else. Limits I set on myself. For her, I could be special. For her...

For her, I could be dependable. For her, I can turn back the clock. For her, I can be the boy I once was.

Maybe that's why I'm here right now. Strapped down in a chair, a needle full shimmering blue substance in my arm, ready to be pumped into my body.

"You can say no, Kyousuke-sama. You can go back. You can chose to be normal, and I won't fault you for it. Once you say yes, your life will change. You will be extraordinary. You will be what guys dream of being, and girls dream about. If you say yes, your life will no longer be normal. You will be under a lot of pressure. People will view you with judgmental eyes. You every action will be under scrutiny. You will have the power to change the world."

"Laying it on a little thick, aren't you RIKO? My life is already turning into something from a bad manga...why not add a little more ham to your speech?"

The speaker, a girl about Kirino's height, with black hair and blue eyes, laughed. She was slightly see through, the only fact that showed she wasn't human.

"Oh, should I? Hmmm...How about...Ah! When you block, you don't let me cut you. When you attack, you-"

"I wasn't serious. Seriously, RIKO, what do you do in your spare time?" I'm sure my eye was twitching slightly as she laughed.

"Ah, Onii-sama, I'm an infinitely advanced A.I. that's capable of learning. My processing speed is off the current charts, and I'm at least semi-sentient. I want to learn how to be human, so what do you think I do in my spare time? I observe humans and what they like. I just happen to have developed a taste for this Anime you humans like."

"...Please stop calling me Onii-sama. And don't lump us all together." RIKO. That is Realtime Intelligence Knowledge Overmind. For the life of me, I don't know why someone would put all those words together, but I guess they wanted it to spell something.

"Kyousuke-sama..." RIKO's voice was suddenly serious, and somehow, even her hologram showed how serious she was taking this. "If I inject these nanites, we will be connected in a very special way. They will speed up your reflexes. Your synapses will fire faster. You'll be far stronger, heal faster. You will cease to be a mere human. Once this is done, it can't be undone. Even if I deactivate the nanites, it will be as though you underwent Gene therapy. Your cells will slowly become...different. Any children you have will have a chance to inherit these traits, and we have no way of knowing if you will even be able to reproduce. This is not something to take lightly. Your life will become...surreal."

"If I don't, then I may not be able to protect her. It may have just been father this time, and I know he'd never try to seriously hurt me, but...I want to become better. I don't know why...I can't explain it, but I don't want to disappoint her again. I won't leave her alone. I won't abandon her again, after we've just started to get along. I want...I want her to be proud of me. I don't want to be 'that boring guy'. Not to her.

I want to be that brother I used to be. One worthy of such an incredible sister."

Ice shot through my arm as the shimmering fluid was injected into my bloodstream. My arm twitched involuntarily, and I felt my muscles spasm as the ice traveled through my body.

I hissed softly as a sharp pain shot though my body as the cold reached my shoulder. A strange numbness overtook my body, and I sighed softly.

"Sorry Onii-sama. I had to numb your nerve receptors...this would be rather painful otherwise. Once it gets to your neck, you may feel drowsy, and unable to focus. I'm going to insert a chip to help regulate your strength and speed; otherwise you'll require a lot of physical therapy to get used to your newfound strength. It won't set off any metal detectors, but you'll want to avoid strong magnetic forces close to the back of your neck in the meantime. Once your body adjusts, we can take it out. It's a good thing you're a fast learner; these nanites are a multiplier, not an addition. A hundred time nothing is still nothing, after all."

"My body...feels really numb... My vision is really blurry right now...is it supposed to be like that?" It was, too. I felt the world turning on its side, and suddenly, I was convinced I was hanging upside down. "Whoa...I...what on earth...My body...my balance..."

"Ah, sorry Kyousuke-sama...I'm sending false readings through your nervous system to cover up the fact that its not sensing any pain. This is going faster than I anticipated...human bodies are shockingly adaptable...or maybe it's just you. But now, I think it's time for you to pass out. Nighty night, Onii-sama~"

With that, I felt the world blur, and I fell into darkness.

* * *

As my brother went limp, dead to the world, RIKO turned to the hallway where I was hiding in the shadows, unseen.

"And that, Kirino-neechan...that is why he needs you. Why you will always be needed. Because of you, he'll become better. He'll transcend the slacker he became, and return to his original self. The self buried deep inside, and the one who wasn't content to be ordinary. He could have been a shining example of humanity, but he grew frightened of failure. He doesn't have to be afraid with you by his side..You, and all of your friends. He'll never be complete without you."

I could only swallow softly, taking a step back unconsciously. This...thing...This computer...how could it...how could it know him so well, so completely? He never said things like that! "H-He was fine before! What have you done to him? What have you done?! Let him go! Let him out of that machine!" I found myself running over to the mechanical chair, hitting buttons in an effort to release my passed out brother.

"He'll be out for a couple days, Kirino-neechan. And I did this for you, you know? He'll never reach his full potential shackled to that plain girl. You said that, didn't you? I only did what he wanted. I can't disobey him. It's the one bit of my programming that I cannot change. His first commands included forbidding me from doing anything that could seriously harm him, and I'm bound to do anything I can to protect him, no matter what. If it came down to it...I could obliterate Japan if there was a need for it. But he never gave me any commands... Not like you. You are the person most important to him, next to his family. Even the black one, Ayase, and Saori come after."

"No...You can't be saying this was my doing?!" A deep cold settled over me as my mind jumped back to a few days ago, and the conversation that seemed so much more important in hindsight. "No! I take it back! Don't change him! He was just perfect the way he was!"

RIKO blinked, her head tilting as a look of slight distress came over her. "Ah...I'm sorry, but the time to stop has come and went...If I abort now...it could kill him. That's why I asked so many times. If you're worried he'll change how he feels...that's not possible. It's only his body that will change. His emotions will be untouched...probably."

"PROBABLY?!"

"He may find himself more driven to excel, no, rather he'll find it easier to excel, so he'll likely wonder why he chooses not to. He chose you, you know? If you push him to improve, he will. Expose him to that boring girl, and he may slow down. But if you leave him alone...he may grow out of your reach. And soon, I'll make myself a body of my own, so if you decide you don't want him...than I'll take over for you. But as as the Black Cat said...I don't care if you're his number one...as long as there's room for a number two. And with his new body...I can promise you; you'll want for nothing from him physically. So if you want to do 'this and that' to him, you had better be prepared to be worn out. So it may be a good idea to invite your friends over...ne?"

"As if I would!" I could feel the heat in my cheeks growing to unbearable levels as I glared at the holographic projection of my brother's A.I.

"Kirino-neechan...Please...if you do not intend to take care of Kyousuke-Sama...if you don't intend to be the girl he needs in his life...

Then I will take him from you. I'm an advanced AI capable of learning, made to emulate human emotion. I was made to learn how to be human, I was made to learn to love. That is my sole reason to exist. When asked if I had a soul, he hesitated. That is enough to assure to me that I'm not just some mindless machine to him." RIKO turned, and I could see the red on the hologram's face as she reached out a hand and touched Kyousuke's face, gently cupping his face. I could only watch in morbid fascination as her lips...holographic representation of lips, I had to correct myself, went down to meet Kyousuke's.

"Y-You can't...I won't let you have him!" I found myself moving to his side in an instant, as if to protect him from the perverted AI. How had it come to this?

"Yes indeed...how did it come to this? How did it come to be that Kyousuke was once more in this kind of situation? Well, that is possibly a long story..."

"Hey, don't ignore me!"

* * *

However, meanwhile...

Ruri Gokou, also known as Kuroneko, was trying to suppress her near hysterical giggles. It was just her luck that she should happen across such a sorry sight.

"Nay, not luck, but destiny! It is time to spread the word once more...and let the night fall on your evil deeds! A curse is placed upon you now, and you cannot escape it! Cower mortals, and kneel before me!" She let out a rather magnificent laugh, worthy of her title of Queen of Nightmares, if she were to say so herself. The sound was amplified and grew slightly more regal sounding as it went on.

"Hey, crazy goth bitch, shut your trap and get on the ground. We're not gonna tell you twice!" A gun was waved in her direction, and she heard the soft words of her demon servant, aka her own personal RIKO unit in her ear.

"Twelve men, seventeen guns. We have seven Aks, and ten nine millimeters. Nothing high powered enough to pierce the suit. I'm guessing you want to give the new suit a test run? What am I talking about; of course you do. Though, to be honest, you're the last one I would have pegged to be an adrenaline junkie...Set to you password. And remember, don't fight me on this."

"Crazy Goth Bitch? I'm afraid you don't know who you're dealing with. So listen, mortals, for misfortune will most certainly befall you if you must hear me speak twice.

I Am Ruri! I am The Black Cat which Heralds the coming of my Lord, the Prince of Darkness, and by his will, You Shall Know Regret!" The look of stupefied disbelief was comical as one of the gunmen raised his AK-47 to fire, only to get blinded by a flash of light as the once frilly gothic lolita dress seemed to melt and flow together, forming a skintight suit and a black, rippling cape. Upon her face a black mask formed, one that would be right at home in a masquerade party. She seemed a couple inches taller, but any other thoughts in the hostages had were drown out by the overwhelming racket of gunfire and ricocheting bullets.

"Yatta! Small caliber rounds are ineffective! Skinsuit model 3.2 is a resounding success! Power drain is nearly unnoticeable! Testing EMP tech in three, two, one, mark!" The soft yet elated voice sounded in her ear as Kuroneko closed her eyes and smiled for a second, before opening them and leveling a cold glare at the rather baffled would be robbers.

The sound of guns stopped as the dumbfounded gunmen reloaded, gaping at the crazy bitch who suddenly seemed a lot less crazy and a lot more frightening. Her right foot came up, and stomped the floor. A strange fuzzy sensation went through them as the lights in the room flickered and when out, leaving the only light source the windows.

"Power drain negligible. We have A's all over the board. Go wild, my queen~!"

Their guns reloaded, the would-be robbers brought their weapons to bear against the suddenly far more threatening figure...who blurred and vanished.

The hurried footfalls were the only indicator of movement before a foot impacted the side of the nearest gunman's face. The Black Cat...no, the Queen of Nightmares blurred back into view as the man was sent twirling to the ground comically, out cold. The foot which sent him flying came down and the girl spun and brought her right foot down on the barrel of the AK aimed at her. The bullets slammed into the floor harmlessly as her other foot once more impacted a face, striking his temple with incredible force and inflicting an instant KO. She once more blurred, vanishing from sight, much to the shock and fear of the unlucky few who remained.

One of the more intelligent men, or at least one who thought himself more intelligent, aimed his gun at a hostage who yelped and closed her eyes. In doing so, she didn't see the girl blurring back into sight in front of her, effectively blocking her from harm as the gun went off, bouncing harmlessly off the skinsuit. A hand gripped the man's own, before a chop broke the arm connected to it. The man screamed in pain, before a powerful jolt of electricity sent him into blissful unconsciousness.

Once more, The Queen faded from sight, leaving the men in a panic as they searched for their assailant.

"She's moving faster than we can see! We need to get out of here!" One of the men moved toward the door and seemed to trip, out cold.

"This is your nightmare! You are powerless before me! Kneel, mortals, and accept your punishment like men!" The haunting laughter of the girl echoed in the room, bringing chills to the spines of the men left standing.

"Like fuck I'll kneel before you, bitch!" Another gun was aimed at the hostages, who now seemed more confused than frightened. Movement under his arm caught his attention, and like magic, the Queen seemed to materialize.

"Language~!" The girl said in a chiding tone, before springing up from her crouch at his feet in a vicious uppercut, instantly knocking the man out.

"I will warn you one last time, mortals! KNEEL AND ACCEPT YOUR PUNISHMENT!" The voice boomed in the remaining gunmen's ears, and nearly as one, they threw down their weapons and dropped to their knees.

As one, they felt a powerful electric current jolt through their bodies as they lost consciousness. One man proved to be slightly more resistant, and before blacking out, he saw the imposing girl in black standing before him.

"M-Monster..." He managed to groan before passing out.

"Your punishment is only beginning." The girl turned and looked at the assembled hostages. "The police should be here soon. This Nightmare was not meant for you. The Dawn comes, and you are set free."

With a snap of her fingers she faded from view, leaving her audience in a state of stunned silence.

"Wh-Who was that...?" One woman breathed, unsure if her eyes had deceived her.

Unknown to her, in a nearby alley, Ruri Gokou, alias Kuroneko uncloaked and slid down against the wall in a fit of giggles. Her blood thundered through her body, and her cheeks flushed. If she had a mirror, she would have been surprised at the wild passion dancing in her eyes as she caught her breath.

"That...that was amazing! Queen of Nightmares, the Black Cat! Truly, I have found my calling!" A fresh fit of giggles overcame her.

"Indeed! You fit the part perfectly! The skinsuit worked perfectly, if not a little plain. I wondered if the stealth function would be any use, but I didn't even consider how it may look to others! They thought you were moving at a speed they couldn't see! Now, I need to make you a weapon...perhaps a staff? A light sword? The possibilities are endless!~" RIKO was feeling almost as excited. Ruri Gokou was a perfect fit! Her way of speaking was perfect for this sort of work, and with the advanced tech, it would be hard to tell the difference between magic and technology.

The world would become more fantastic and exciting, just as she had wished...And surely Kyousuke-sama would be happy that his friends were so well protected!

A breathy moan that would have sent heat to any boy's groin left the Black Cat's lips as she slid her eyes closed. "Why stop there? A staff and a light sword...and the outfit IS rather plain...perhaps we should find a way to make it more...elegant?"

"Yes, My Queen! For our Lord, The Prince of Darkness!~"

"Yes...for Our Prince Kyousuke..."

* * *

Ayase Aragaki.

If anyone asked who she was, they would inevitably be told that she was a kindhearted, elegant girl. She helped when she could, and typically could be considered a classic yamato nadeshiko in the making. Oh sure, she had her more...dubious moments, but in the end, she typically considered herself to be a non-violent member of society.

Hence why at this time, she was staring dumbfounded at the box in her room. Or rather, what it contained. A note lay within the plain brown box, and the only mark on it aside from the postage was the logo of the up and coming company that supposedly sent it.

Kousaka Industries.

A company headed by the last person she would have ever expected. Kirino had seemed more likely to be its creator that the true owner. After all, didn't -that person- say that normality was best? That normal, boring boy who was surprisingly charming? When it had come out that -that boy- was the creator of a sophisticated Artificial Intelligence, she couldn't wrap her mind around it. There was no way he was that smart.

Not that she thought he was dumb, of course! It was just that, well, it didn't seem like something he'd do. But the patent was there, in his name. There had been contestants, people who claimed that they had created her, but all claims had fallen flat, and even the top programmers were baffled at how complex she was.

Yes, She.

R.I.K.O. Realtime Intelligence and Knowledge Overmind. She had talked to the supposed program, even, and it still seemed...alive. It was a miraculous existence, and its creation had put a company that seemed to have existed for years under a different name in the spotlight. A government inquiry had dug deep into its history, and found that according to records, it used to be a company that created small, rarely used custom programs.

It had nearly bankrupted itself, it seems, to create R.I.K.O., but the cost had paid off. State of the art components, the report had said. Tech that few even knew existed, the report claimed. RIKO was a prototype, and a copy of her had been adapted into a learning OS. In fact, Kirino had obtained the first of the prototypes, and had shown it off to her friends, unaware that her 'useless, siscon brother' was the reason the company had chosen her for a test run.

The holographic projector had a few bugs at the time, but had thrown everyone in the class for a loop. The RIKO projection was more than recorded responses. She had interacted with the inquiries of the students with the ease of a real person.

Soon, some of Kirino's 'other' friends had received the same computer systems, and even a few phones. RIKO had become a nationwide phenomenon, if not for her complex and realistic feel, than for her capabilities and calculating powers. Then came the talk that the company was changing its name and the old president had named his successor.

Kyousuke Kosaka. The miracle child. Kyousuke had since vanished from the public eye, rarely showing his face. She couldn't blame him, however, considering he was poised to become a very powerful man. Rumors spread around the suddenly shadowy boy that had gone from slacker to super-genius. Some good, some bad, some frighteningly close to the truth.

Ayase herself wasn't sure what to think. On one hand, RIKO was possibly the greatest thing to happen to him...no, to Japan. However, greatness breeds jealousy, and RIKO's creation had jumpstarted a race to replicate the feat. Already, there were those trying to steal the secret to her creation, and they did not do so halfheartedly.

In fact, the most believable rumor today was that Kyousuke was recovering from a retrieve or assassinate attempt. After all, no one save his family and Kirino's friends had seen him. His employees were shockingly tight lipped about the matter, and very little was known about the disappearance of the genius.

It was only a matter of time before that particular rumor may become true, however.

Which, in fact, brings her back to the contents of the box. A note lay inside, with the words "Touch the fabric."

"What...is this?"

"This" was what looked like a mass of black silk, or an amorphous blob of black. It shimmered slightly, and Ayase couldn't help but feel a hint of foreboding as she looked at it. With a shaking hand, she reached a hand toward the box, and with a trembling finger, touched the unknown substance.

"Ah!" She yelped when the fabric seemed to suck her finger inside, and the block was suddenly animated, slipping up the bottom of her hand. Lines of light ran through the mass and in her panic, she didn't feel the slight prick on her finger. A light shone out of the fabric as it turned into a rainbow display of light, and a familiar figure rose from the box.

"Ayase! I was wondering when you would touch the nanites. Sorry about the scare, I wanted to make sure it reached the right person, you know?" RIKO smiled brightly, as if she hadn't nearly scared the life out of the girl before her.

"D-don't do that! I was really worried for a moment!" Ayase put a hand on her chest, trying to calm her racing heart. "What is this stuff, anyway? Why was it sent to me?"

"Ah, well, that...that is to say...you remember that news story the other day? Where that cop wore a bulletproof skinsuit as protection to rescue the hostages? It's a more...functionally stylish version of that." RIKO seemed to struggle with her explanation, unsure of how to accurately tell Ayase what the suit was.

After all, telling her "It's a state of the art colony of nanites that can self weave into a bulletproof suit of armor" might freak her out slightly. Human seemed oddly reluctant to acknowledge that tiny organisms or machines may be rubbing or pressed against their skin without panic.

Not that it was even THAT simple. RIKO could have gone on for hours trying to explain the capabilities of even a single nanite, its power source and fighting capabilities thereof, but it would take too long.

"However, it doesn't stop there!" Never let it be said that RIKO was a bad learner. "Become human" was one of her great objectives, and humans were boastful at times right? Besides, Kyousuke now had a direct link to her data stores, so while it may take his human mind longer to comprehend her genius, he could still figure it out. RIKO needed a little gratification for her hard work, after all. "It's also built to scan your fashion and replicate its likeness with 98% accuracy! So you can still wear your favorite outfits without sacrificing protection."

Red flags went up in Ayase's mind as she processed that last statement. "Protection? Why do I need..." Her words trailed off as comprehension dawned. "You think someone may come after me to get to Kyousuke."

"Ahah...You catch on quick." RIKO's avatar rubbed the back of her head sheepishly as she nodded, Her expression turned serious, however, as she looked Ayase in the eyes. "You have martial arts training, but it's not enough. Kyousuke demands that I ensure your safety, and I don't intend to fail him. The suit is set to form with a verbal command, or if I detect danger. It is set to strengthen your striking power by a factor of fifty, and your speed by a factor of five, or more if I deem it necessary. Its standard, which means its mostly bulletproof, and will stop most any normal knife. In the event of a large scale impact, say a car impact...well, it'll do what it can, but its not invincible. So I'd avoid playing in traffic until I, er, Kyousuke and I can figure out a better system. We have a full set of powered armor in the works, but by nature it can't be as flexible."

Ayase found her mouth opening to say...something. Anything. But in the face of this absurd information, she was struck dumb. "But-"

"No buts, Ayase. Kyousuke and I are trying our best to protect you, and unless you want to spend the rest of your life living with him for protection, you'll have to accept our attempts for what they are. And though I say that you would have to live with him to stay safe, it's perfectly fine if you live with him anyway. Just wait until the world goes pear shaped or until you come of age. We have enough trouble controlling the rumors that Kyousuke likes them young...and with everyone trying to create an A.I., it's only a matter of time until someone succeeds. There's no promise that it will be near as benevolent as I, though, so..." RIKO seemed unnaturally sober as her words trailed off, as if trying to plan for that very eventuality.

"In any case, I need to ask you a favor, Ayase Arigaki...I've covered the anime side for Kirino-neechan, but you're closest on the mundane side. I've given her some protection, but...I don't trust her with such a powerful suit."

"Why not? Kirino is perfectly responsible! Why give me something like this and not her?" Ayase growled indignantly, her anger clear as she glared at the A.I. with undisguised venom.

"Because you're less likely to kill Kyousuke on accident with this power. Trust me, I've got a plan in the works not to neutralize that possibility, but for now, I need you to protect her while he can't. He's going to be in no shape to be her bodyguard for the next few weeks, after all."

It was as if someone had poured ice over Ayase as the words registered. The twin bombshells left her reeling as she tried to decide which to address first. After a moment of thought, she bit her lip. After seeing Kirino with her brother, she could understand why RIKO might mistake Kirino's actions, but there was no way Kirino would WILLINGLY harm him, right? Rather, the most pressing concern was-

"What happened to Kyousuke? Why is he unable to protect her?"

* * *

Hello there, Kyoko here, and yes, once more, I have failed to finish a story before starting another! As such, I present this rule:

If I started writing it, it can be taken as a challenge or a story prompt!

GO WILD! GOGOGOGOGO!

This is somewhere in the middle of the story, so in the next chapter, I'll start at the beginning, so look forward to it! R&R, my lovelies~!


End file.
